ouhouhjollyfunfunn: 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

NOVEMBER 4th, 2010
1442 HOURS

HAHAAA.
YEAHHHH.
TODAYYYY IS MY BIRTHDAY.
MY 18th BIRTHDAY.
AND SO, I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS POST FOR TODAY WITH THE UPPERCASE FONT.
HIHI.
I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH.
SO EXCITED AND SO ON :D

that was the wonderful cake ever with all that cream all over.
i even have the chance to play around with my lil bro.
playing with cakes.
HAHA.

and even there are even tons of wishes i got from the facebook.
i am really touched :')

well, i love the day today.
HIHI.
can't wait to meet my love :D

thanks for reading :)

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bad mood

OCTOBER 28th, 2010

2219 HOURS

i'm not really in the mood for today. incident after another. it really just give me the pain in the heart rather than pain in the ass.

danggggg.
damnit.

why do i have to encounter it all just by ....
THAT????
couldn't care less but it was so random.
i wasn't ready to meet that person.
really i mean it.
i am really not that ready much.
by seeing the face of innocent, i walked in.
i saw straight in front of me.
there he was.
the guy that i once love.
( kinda love love like thingy )
my heart was pounding hard.
hard enough just to make me barely breathe.
i ignored the feelings i held inside.
so much so that i wasn't barely myself.

i went outside the parking lot.
just to give a call to my bestest butties.

DAPHINY RINI.

i called her and told what happened.
the occasion that occurred.
she told me to be calm and act as if nothing happened.
and so i did.

i became the HYPOCRITE person.
yeah.
i acted good.

:'(
after it all finished, i just looked down and walk away.
i never intended to look back and watch those faces.
really i don't have the guts.
i was too deeply hurt.

WHY ON EARTH AM I FEELING THIS?
DAMNNNNN MUCH!

erghhhhhhhhhhhh.
i hate those days.
i really do.

|
|
|
|
|
V
i really miss those days.
i miss teddy :'(

:: END ::

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dolly big eyes :)

OCTOBER 28th, 2010
0259 HOURS

yeah. it's morning and still i can't sleep.
and so i'm awake
:)
here's the photos that i had taken when i'm bored.
HAHA.
it's the photos session without spectacles but with
dolly big eyes contact lens.
yeah you got that right.
i'm addicted to contact lens nowadays.
thanks to the temptation of promotion at the Financial Park, Labuan.
HAHA.
i love dolly big eyes.

and for the photo below..
it is just a simple photo of mine.
without spectacles and contact lens.
just pure me :)

nothing to be said and that's the result.
worthless content in my own blog.
bluffing :)
HIHI.

thanks for reading :)

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a week plus holiday Semester 1

OCTOBER 27th, 2010
2234 HOURS

yeah. it's been a long time since i last updated this blog of mine. well, now it's holiday season for me. this holiday is just for a week plus. not quite a long period of time but it's worth it. for this final exam of Semester 1, it was historical. nothing can describe the truly exam of Matriculation.

it was unspeakable.
i am outspoken.
it was truly unpredictable.

especially for the Physics. both paper 1 and 2. it was too hardly to be said. to be describe and whatsoever it is.

but the truth is..

PHYSICS PAPER SUCKS!

i CRIED for God sake after the paper 2.
geez.
but scoring for paper 1 was a lil bit tricky.
the ques' were all base on calculation.
less on facts.
*sigh.

but i had tried my very best in answering the ques' of misery.
damn it was so much ...
erghhhhh.

for the other paper, it was quite the average of ques'.
can be answer but not to be said too confident, just by saying that i can answer it.
without leaving it blank.
yeahhhh.

now, just waiting for the results to be released.
this November 30th, 2010
the result will be showed.
ouchhh.

*waiting in patience.
( breathe in, breathe out )

will be goin' back to KML next week.
on November 6th, 2010.
have the time to celebrate my birthday here at home.
HAHAHA :)

thanks for reading :)

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this past few days

SEPTEMBER 14th, 2010
1951 HOURS

regarding the title above, i just wanted to say that this past few days, titus gave me a call. but i didn't answered it. it's not i accidentally and purposely didn't answered it. i was having my dinner at that hour when he called. i was quite a shocked to know he called.

i wondered why did he called.
with my ego on high, i didn't bother to even text or called him back.
about an hour after that, my heart kept saying

" just sent him a text. just once "

and so, i did.
but he didn't replied it.
and again, i sent text messages.
2 text messages.
but still, he didn't replied.
i assumed he already asleep at that time.
i gave up sending him texts after that.

that night, i kept wondering..
why on earth he called me..
why?

hmphhh..

before this, he did sent me text message.
forward message though.
but i didn't replied it at all.
i was still not in the mood to be nice to him.
then, few weeks after that, he called.
erghhhhh.

what's with him?

i hate assuming things because i knew in the end i would be hoping on high on hopes that couldn't be satisfied at all.
gerrr.
stupid.

but...

TITUS..
i wanna know why you suddenly changed your mind in searching for me?
i just wanna know that.
even before this, when i sent you text messages..
you always said that you had no time for messaging.
even you did said that you don't want to text nobody including me.
i still remember every little things you had said.
every word..
every letters..
still fresh in my mind..
barely i can't erase it at all..
you don't even knew how my heart was hurt at that time when you had said that..
and so, i fulfilled what you wished for that is to not disturbed you ANYMORE.
and now you're the one that is looking for me when i don't even want to look for you.

why you're doing this to me haa?
why?

sighhhhh~

how i wish we shouldn't get to know each other before this.

it really makes me HURT, tuz..
it really does..

thanks for reading :)

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breakdance of KML students :)

i share with you all the VIDEO that one of my friend took during our MALAM EKSPRESI DINAMIKA at KOLEJ MATRIKULASI LABUAN.

do enjoy it all.

*i posted it at YOUTUBE. sorry if the video quality was not in a good one.
just click the link below.
do comment though.
thanks :)

CLICK ME

thanks for reading :)

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sick day till i'm gonna die

yeah, i'm sick now. but still i can go online. am just so stupid. erghh. this week is a bad week for me. i'm getting sick and it gets worst and worst everyday. this morning, i went to the clinic at where my mom were working at that is at the polyclinic. i know, that clinic is just for babies and women who are pregnant but i have no choice. my mom insisted i went for scanning and so, i did. Doctor Endang Susilawati was the one that did the scan on my stomach. she said she want to check my kidney. for both side. at first, she checked my left kidney. as i saw on the scan screen, i saw no difference but once she called my mom, i knew it won't be a good news. she told my mom that there is something growing at my left kidney. it didn't even reach up to 1 cm. the doctor told that, it is not that serious. but my mom said that i should undergone operation to cut that thingy on my left kidney. when i heard that, i was clueless. i can't said a thing. i don't want any operation. i don't want some doctors and nurses at the hospital to operate my body. no, i don't want to.

i tried to be strong and pray for the best.
hoping that my health won't get worst than ever.
hoping that i will heal soon.

just now, after my mom came back from work, she told me that, i should undergone operation to cut that growing thingy. i became numb. she kept saying that, the operation is a must. and i will be operate when i go back to Bintulu at this Hari Raya holiday on the month of September. hopefully i have been cured at that time. no operating table for me. i don't want it. and again, she told me, from now onwards, i have to drink lots of plain water. ONLY PLAIN WATER. no other drinks. that means no MILO, no COLA, no NOTHING. i just heard with what she said with patience. i never thought this disease that i suffered would be giving me the burden so much.

i will try and i will pray for the healing of my sickness.

and peeps, this will be my last post for this year.
i'm sorry :(

thanks for reading :)

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TAGGY TAG TAG FROM SIS DDY :)

MAY 7th, 2010
1350 hours

first of all, i want to thank Sis Ddy for the tagging. frankly speaking i never been tag before on this blog thingy and yeah, this is my first time. thanks again to Sis Ddy.

[ sound as if wanna make a speech up there. HAHA :D ]

okay okay. let's answer the questions shall we :)

Apa yang anda akan buat bila anda tahu member anda tikam belakang anda?
What will u do if u know that your friend has been back stab on u ?
:: erghhhhh. gonna go confront them and punch them in the face. not gonna give any discount on that.

6 orang di hati anda?
6 people in your heart?
:: my parents and that equals two of them, my brother ( souven jawa ) , my lil bro ( leo ) , mr elekson and God :)

Anda rasa anda comel?
Do u think u're cute?
:: oh my. i don't think so that i am but i got compliments also about that. HAHA. why don't ya ask for others opinion then :D

Single or taken?
:: i'm taken already baybeyhh by Mr Elekson Tadong. hihi :D

Blog yang anda suka?
Blog that u like?
:: i've got tons of them. can't list 'em all though. once the headlines title attracts me, then i will read it. no matter from who the author is. i love what i'll love. from gossips to sad stories that people post at their blog.

adakah bilik anda kemas setiap hari?
Do u clean your room everyday?
:: errrr. naaaa. not everyday. but only on weekends. i'm a lazy person. [ THAT'S THE TRUTH ]

Lagu terakhir yang anda dengar?
The last song u listening?
:: Last Train Home by Lostprophets.

Last text message?
:: from Neelwana. she's saying that she's at Labuan now. telling every experience that she had there. hihi.

Last phone call?
:: from Elliecia. that is this morning. she asked me to go hanging out at Medan Jaya but i rejected. just because, i was at the clinic at that hour. i'm sick though :) but yeahhh still i can smile.

Hari terakhir anda menangis?
Last day u cried?
:: the day before yesterday that is on Wednesday. i cried because of Mr Elekson. he said such a mean mean mean words till i cried right in front of my mom. luckily, i managed to shed it away before she started realizing about it :')

List lima color favorite anda?
List down 5 of your favorite colours?
:: black, blue, red, purple and orange.

Orang terakhir anda ber-YM?
The last people chat with u in YM?
:: with this Singaporean guy. [ hot guy :) hardly to admit it. but from the webcam, he is hot ;) ] have to keep his identity hidden. he don't want nobody to know his looks are awesome. HAHA.

Game paling anda suka?
Your favorite game?
:: Red Alert 2 [ with cheat codes ] oh yeahhh.

Adakah anda peminat MCR?
Are u a fan of MCR?
:: yeahh. that was back then. now i seldom listen to their songs. not even once.

Apa perasaan anda jawab tag ni?
What do u feel when u answering this tag?
:: i feel NOTHING. haha. naaaa. it is quite a fun questions. kinda give the boost at this boring day.

Anda rasa tag ini best?
Do u think this tag interesting?
:: naaaaa. no comment on that :)

Tag lagi 10 orang
tag 10 other people
:: yeahh. i'll tag y'all :)

felly
momoyy
eddy
sophie
stephenie
syimah
azeer
effa
ela
zyra

i'm just tagging though. do answer the questions eyy :)

thanks for reading :)

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yesterday's

i want to talk briefly about yesterday. forget to post it though.
yesterday May 3rd, after that sick day of mine, at 1330 hours i had to go to take my JPJ test.
well, even the teacher told me to come at 1330 hours but we all started at about 1515 hours.
a long day to pass the JPJ test.
and yeahh..
i pass :)
can't wait to take my license card this Thursday.
hopefully on that day.
but if it is next week, how i feel the disgrace not to drive when i'm at Labuan later.
HIHI.
really can't wait for that license card.
after i got it, then i am officially a driver.
a ' P ' driver.
HAHA.

thanks for reading :)

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6ixth sense - Dari Hati

Oh Tuhan
Tolonglah diriku
Aku sungguh menginginkan dia
Tuk mencintaiku
Dan mendampingiku
Di dalam hidupku ini

*
Oh Tuhan
Bukalah hatinya
Untuk melupakan kesalahanku
Yang tlah menjadi duri
Di dalam hatinya
Dan melukai hatinya

Reff:
Tolonglah
Dekap aku
Yang melukaimu
Aku ingin
Engkau tahu
Aku slalu cinta padamu

Aku tlah menyesalinya
Semua

Back to *, Reff:

reblog from HERE .

[ my favourite song ever. i'm too much in love with you, elekson. too much :'( ]

thanks for reading :)

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Sofaz - Hingga Hujung Pernafasan Langitku

Inilah impian hidupku
Dan inilah mahunya hatiku
Tercipta satu rasa ini untuk ku memilikimu
Ku tahu diriku sukar untuk menyatakan semuanya
Ku tahu hatiku selalunya ada untuk dirimu

Hatiku ini hanya untuk mu
Cintaku ini milikmu untuk selamanya
Lamaranku tulus bersamamu
Kan ku temanimu hingga hujung pernafasan di langitku

Jiwaku tak pernahkan tenang
Bila kau jauh disampingku
Ku tahu hatiku selalunya ada untuk dirimu

Hatiku ini hanya untuk mu
Cintaku ini milikmu untuk selamanya
Lamaranku tulus bersamamu
Kan ku temanimu hingga hujung pernafasan di langitku

Inilah impian hidupku...
Hatiku ini hanya untukmu
Cintaku ini milikmu untuk selamanya

Ohhhhh..
Ooo ooo oooooo
Penjagamu...

Hatiku ini hanya untukmu
Cintaku ini milikmu untuk selamanya
Lamaranku tulus bersamamu
Kan ku temanimu hingga hujung pernafasan di langitku
Di langitku...
Hingga hujung...
Nafasku...

reblog from HERE.

thanks for reading :)

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Sofaz - Di Waktu Hidupku

Lemah hatiku melangkah
Meninggalkan dirimu:’
Jauh dari semua yg terindah
Ku pejamkan mata ku tuk
menerima semuanya
Wlau hatiku tak pernah tuk mengerti
Berat lagi lu cuba tuk melupakan
Dirimu hatimu bayangmu:’
{Korus}
Waktu dah pun menungguku
Tuk meninggalkannmu
Untukku meninggalkanmu
Untuk kau melupakanku
Redakan..genggaman
Tanganku lepaskan dirimu
Untuk hidup yang baru..
Jauh ku kan mencintaimu
Di setiap waktu tak ku lupakanmu
Jauh ku kan menyanjungmu
Ku kan meninggimu di waktu hidupku
Oh…..ohoooooo…:’

Ahh.. selalu merindumu
Wohh biarpun kau jauh
Hati takkan pernah ada
Untuk mencinta dirimu
*Ulang korus*

reblog from HERE

thanks for reading :)

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tired DAY

MAY 3th, 2010
2202 hours

it's been a long day since i last updated this blog of mine. well, tired of all the occasion and event that had been held recently. totally tired much till i fall sick this morning. errghhhh. woke up at exactly 0530 hours. geez. couldn't bare the pain that had really struck me inside. the pain that i suffered came from my left stomach. what a weird diseases that i suffered. what makes me even uncomfortable is that as if something or somewhat is eating my intestine. either the large or small intestine. and what makes it more serious, i can't even walked up straight and even think rationally. the STUFF was kicking and boxing at my left stomach. i went downstairs to search for a place to vomit. yeahh, i vomit a lot this morning. everything that i consumed from the bitter medicine to the milo that i drank. all came out. erghhh. my mum started worried about me. till every medicine she gave me. all of it i ate to ease away the pain i'm having and frankly speaking, it was totally a disaster and awful morning for me. i tried and tried to be strong. to stand up and fight the pain. at that very moment, all that i thought was

" rather than suffering from this pain, better for me to just die. "

the word DIE is always used at that very hour. oh goodness gracious. how i cried to bear those pain in the stomach. i never encounter this kind of thingy. really serious. too serious. over serious. at that very hour, mummy kept saying HOW PALE MY FACE LOOK. yeah, i know that. i was sweating and my body was cold. but i didn't shivered at all. after hours of suffering, mummy gave me this type of bitter medicine. black syrup. something like that and she told me that the medicine is U.T.I that stands for Urine Track Infection. i drank it with the bitterness in my mouth and down to my esophagus. i lay down at the living room and mummy told me to get a lot of rest. at 0915 hours, the pain was getting lesser and lesser. at last, i fall asleep. at 1045 hours, i got up. the pain was gone. i felt quite relieved. at that exact moment also, the phone rang. i quickly stood up and head towards the ringing phone. it was mummy.

mummy :: how are you now? feeling okay already?
me :: yeah. i'm okay now.
mummy :: that's why i told you before, NOT TO GO ON A DIET. now you see what's happening. you're lack of water.
me :: yeah yeah. i know that.
mummy :: go and take your bath. after that, you MUST eat. don't go on a diet anymore.
me :: okay then.

*hang up.

yaaaa. i know what you're thinking right now. DIET. before this, yes i did plan to diet. but i didn't know that it would be this serious. just because of my body is lack of water, that's what happened to me. agerrrr. stupid thingy. stupid stomach. LEFT STOMACH. erghhhh.

but now, i am healthy. yes i am. after this, i won't go on a diet anymore. i don't care if i'm fat and chubby and big size. well, my boyfriend always call i'm chubby. geez. how i hate it everytime he said that but i don't care. i still love him though :)

p/s STOP ON THE DIET AT THIS VERY DAY. WILL STOP FOR GOOD :D

thanks for reading :)

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happy birthday, NEELWANA :)

APRIL 29th, 2010

1209 hours

oh yess!
it's NEELWANA bestday today.

aiguuuuu.
happy birthday to you my gorgeous darling sweet cupcake.
hihi.
now you're officially 18 years old.
yarghhhh.
keep the low batt profile.
ahahhahaha.
i HEART you dearly dear.
thanks for being my friends for the past 2 years already.
really appreciate it a lot.
you're like my BESTEST BUTTIES ever!
ahahahhaaa.
and again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NEELWANA..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

hihi.
loveee you sayang.

friends forever :)

i love you ketat ketat :D

thanks for reading :)

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i'm hurt

there's nothing more i can say. the title had explained everything.
yes, i am hurt.
why did i encounter those profile at facebook?
why why?
i hate myself for making that mistakes.
i shouldn't have browse the pictures.
it really HURTS me.
:'(
and i hate myself because i am crying because of it.

why on earth, why???!

from this day onward, no more TEXTING you, no more CALLING you.
after what i had saw earlier on..
the pictures on facebook...
it FUCKIN' hurt my heart.
with what i'm feeling, it is indescribable.
i am too much in pain.
after i saw that PICTURES, i delete EVERYTHING.
from your TEXT MESSAGES that you sent, your PICTURES to your PHONE NUMBER.
i won't regret on taking that decision.
the other day you'd said sweet things.
but now, i have seen with my two own eyes.
the PICTURES explain it all.
i can't help it but to cry.
you really over limit it.
i can't take much pressure on that and i promise myself from this very hour,

I WON'T NEITHER CONTACT NOR TEXT AND TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.

i can't take it anymore.
i just can't.
i'm way hurt than before.
don't ever look for me anymore.
we will never stay connected again.
*sobsobb.

P/S the pictures that you sent are equally the same pictures that she had. is that just a coincidence?
FUCK YOU!
I AM FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH!

thanks for reading :)

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my biography :)

APRIL 22th, 2010
1041 hours

okay okay. let's introduce a lil bit about the owner of this OUHOUHJOLLYFUNFUNN.

my full name is Stemarlia Burat. i'm gonna be 18 at november 4th. so, do the math :D
i'm currently staying at Bintulu and hell yeah, i am a Bintulu-an resident. i'm proud :)
i have 3 siblings including me.
i'm in the middle, that means i'm in the second and also i am the only GIRL in the family.
am the daughter of Steward Gima and Maria.
i've got the elder brother, that is Souven Jawa, 21 and lil brother, Leo Gelau, 10.

the above picture is me with my lil bro :)
he's way CHINESE looking than i am.
errghhh.
i'm envy of him.
ahahhahaha.

we live the ordinary life same as other people.
not living on luxury life or something like that.
only the simple life.
i'm not saying BIG things arr.
take note on that.

in about 1 week plus, i'll be away to Labuan to study at the Matriculation.
will be away about 1 year.
erghhhhh.
it kinda sucks because no GAWAI for me.
and my cousins are bullying and teasing me about me.
geez.
its just sokay. i'm away for studying. there's always next year aite?
hmphhh >.<

i will do my very best and pray for me there.

thank you :)

thanks for reading :)

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i will always be by your side :')

I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep
Just close your eyes relax and breathe,
In slowly, no, don't feel lonely
Cause, I'll be right here, by your side
If you should awake into the night,
Keep dreaming
Cause I'll be keeping

Your, heart in mine,
Don't you know I'll always be near
Even in the hardest time,
Don't you know I'm always right here
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up because,
It's alright,
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side

Remember the days when we would drive,
Into the night we'd watch the skies, of summer,
So full, of colour and,
Remember the days when waves would roll,
Up on the beach to touch our toes,
On soft sand,
My hand, in yours and,

Your heart in mine
Don't you know I'll always be near
Even in the hardest times
Don't you know I'm always right here
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up, because it's alright
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side

Laying flat on our backs
We stared up at the sky
We were laughing so hard,
We had tears in our eyes
Our future's before us
Our worries behind,
Just you and I

I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep,
Just close your eyes, relax and dream,

And keep your heart in mine
Even in the hardest times,
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up, because it's alright,
It's alright
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up because it's alright
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side,
I'm by your side, mhm.

thanks for reading :)

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further study :(

APRIL 19th, 2010
1000 hours

exactly 10am i am gonna write this blog. ahahhaha. its been a while already. well, now i'm quite busy and kinda lazy to write anything in my blog and so, i am writing it now.

this past few days were not that original. all i want to say is that, the past days were not the usual day that i've been gone through. this weird occasion started after i knew that i've been given the offer to study at Matriculation Labuan. since then, my mom never get mad at me and yeah, i noticed several changes also. before this, she always nag nag nag and nag at me almost every hour.

and frankly speaking,
i miss her nagging now
:'(
very much.

this Tuesday, daddy will be coming back here from Qatar. how i miss daddy too. surely i know, it will be different. surely daddy looks differ because maybe he'll be way thin than he was before. i can't wait for him to come back. just can't wait. daddy, i miss you already :')

back to the main topic, besides me going for Matriculation, there were also my other friends that join me too. okay, okay. i list 'em for you :)

stemarlia ( me )
neelwana
shyarrine liah
evelyn intik
anisia
azilla
dygku nurul hafizah ( pjah )
ummi h
ummi k
anthonia
claire

those are whom had confirmed that they are going for Matriculation and yeahhh,
i know i won't be alone after all.
i have them :)

others, that are still not confirm yet are bryan rundi and geoffery.
i can't talk more because its your own choice too to decide.
i'm just going there and study and get good pointer.
yess!
i'm determined nowadays.
:')

thanks for reading :)

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imissyouiloveyou.

APRIL 17th, 2010
2255 hours

i'm getting bored on updating this blog.
getting busy with the preparation.
urghhhhh.

i'm gonna miss you all peepsy.
my fellow kanjez friends
:')
i will always remember you all
and always gonna love you..

*i'm crying with joy.

thanks for reading :)

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i cried AGAIN today

APRIL 16th, 2010
1227 hours

heyyya peepsy. today i woke up at around 10am after mr elekson sent text messages many times. erghhhhh. disturbing my sleep. besides that, also received texts from daphy and neel. i quickly got up and took the modem with me. after that, i went downstairs. i plugged in the wires. then, i switched on the pc. after all had be switched on, i quickly clicked the mozilla firefox and opened my facebook ( as usual ). ahahhaha. then, mommy called.

mommy :: you already checked your matriculation or not?
me :: wait mommy. i've just woke up at this very moment.
mommy :: iskhhhh. okay okay. you go checked at the backyard there. our gardening had all been collapsed because of the strong wind this morning and the heavy rain.
me :: ookkkaayyyy. later i checked it.
mommy :: after you checked your matriculation, you tell me A.S.A.P, okay?
me :: yaaaa. surely sure.

tuttt. tuttttt. she hanged up.

i quickly browse to the website.

*just click it to check yours too :)

i key-in my ic number and there, as i wait i kept saying

please be strong, be strong, be strong.

after that, the result pop out. yay! i got it! i got matrix at Labuan. uhuuu. the first intake though for this year. they gave me 1 year studying. that means only 2 semester. waaaa. i must study hard for that. really study hard. sobsob. i don't feel like typing anymore. i'm happy and sad at the same time. i just can't describe my feelings now. i cried when i got to know what will happen if i further study there.

i thought about lots of things.
about families that i will be far away with.
my friends.
my closest friends.
mr elekson.

uhuuuuuuuuuu. what to do. i will miss them all.
*sobsob

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QUESTIONS to be shared :)

what does it mean if you look into that someone straight to the eye,
but they just don't have the guts to look back?
they act nervous and don't even have any topic to be said.
what does that even mean?

mind sharing can you all my peeps?

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blank

APRIL 12th, 2010
1541 hours

i was eager to know about the ipta result and so i checked but nothing appeared. oh shit. why you ain't appeared arr? i've waited for so long for that. eeee. about the matriculation, it will come out this friday on April 16th. can't wait for it. wuuuuu. this morning, i woke early just because my cousin came from Sibu. cisss. disturbing my beauty sleep. i was sleeping at high dream dose and yeah, he disturbed me. gerrrrrr. but i don't mind. at least i had a partner to be with, to bring me go outing. yeahhhhhh.

i don't know what i'm actually writing about now at this very moment. erggghh. i wander what to do after my driving license later.

sigh.

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AKU BUKAN PILIHAN HATIMU

Jika memang diriku
Bukanlah menjadi
Pilihan hatimu
Mungkih sudah takdirnya
Kau dan aku
Takkan mesti bersatu

Haruslah slalu kau tahu
Ku mencintaimu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena ku yakin
Cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu
Sampai akhir hidupku

Karena ku yakin
Di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu
Satu yang slalu ku rindu

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the D A Y

APRIL 11th, 2010
1951 hours

greetings all. this evening, i log in my facebook. a lot of notifications and even friend requests. and so i approve all the friend requests. after that, i view all the notifications. its a lot. lot to be scroll down a lots of time. i saw and checked it all. then, i came across the video that ayin tag me. i play that video. the song entitled "AKU BUKAN PILIHAN HATIMU" from Ungu. immediate after listening to that song, i quickly searched for it at Youtube. i wanna hear the original song from the band itself. i listened to it and without any hesitation..

my tears began to fall.
i was crying.
i shed away my tears.
but the tears kept on rolling down.
:'(
i was deeply sad.

frankly speaking, i miss him.

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what the fuck morning

APRIL 10th, 2010
1100 hours

morning fuck as it is.
stupid.
asshole you dweeb.
i hate you way more than what i am saying with words now.
as for your convenience, just as like you want it.

I WON'T LOOK FOR YOU ANYMORE.
YES, I WILL NOT SEARCH FOR YOU.
NEVER FOR NOW.
AFTER WHAT YOU HAD DONE TO ME.
YOU ASKED FOR IT AND SO I WILL GRANT IT.
IF YOU CAN LOOK FOR A NEW GIRL, SO DO I.
DON'T EVER SAID THAT I CHEATED.
BECAUSE I WILL DO WHAT I WANT AND I WILL DO IT.

FUCK YOU MAN! CHOIII!
TWO MIDDLE FINGER FOR YOU!
SMELL THE FUCKIN' ASS.
BOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO.
CRAPPING THE SHIT AS YOU ARE.

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O H F U C K ! !

i am so pissed off today. what the fucking damn fishes are you dealing with girl? you're messing again with the puddle of mud and the spitting of your saliva again? oh shit ya dang girl! you're a fuck machine! why on earth you wanna go flirting with him again? you're the one that spit your saliva before this, but now you want to lick it back?? damn you!

pa ko pk ko pat ludah & jilat blt ludah ko ya? oh shit motherfucker you! sedar diri sket tu. dahlah PANDAK! tak malu, ada hati g mao bantai muka ya?! bloodyfool! dh tau dia dh bpunya, knk mao mengenja g? xda mata ka tgga relationship status owg? kekmakkk! xda reti malu. g mao ka mengenja ngenjit diri ya?? ceypaiiii arrr.

aku dh fed up dh an suma benda tok. gila bagai mao hentakkan kepala rah dinding. laki ng ego. pmpuan ya degil li wak. dh tak tau g mao plh gney. cibai ko kimak! ada hari lak. errghhh.

kpd laki ego ya,
SUKAAA ATI LAH! KO MAO CARI GWEX BARU KA, MAO KAWEN KA, AKU TAK KESAH! KO NG EGO! DARI DULUKKK GIK KO NG EGO TAK ABIS ABIS. PELIRRR KO YA KECIK! EEEEEE. MUN KO PAT CARI GWEX BARU, AKU PUNG MAO JOIN SAMA WAK.
A-CIE WAK NAK?

AHAHHAHHAAA.

AKU PUNG TAK MAO RUGI OHHH KIMAK.

*KO NG CHIPAIII, malvina.

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mood swing

APRIL 8th, 2010
1052 hours

yesterday, i went for the driving lesson again. i'm driving at a good health. that means i'm okay on it. no nervous feeling like the first time i drove the car before. when i finished the 3 side parking, Miss Ling instructed me to park at the side. and so, i did. she came to my side and i opened the door.

Miss Ling :: so, you'll be taking your pra on april 17th, that is on saturday.

i was shocked shocked. apuuuu. the other day, she said i will have my pra on april 20th. now it is postponed to april 17th. warghhhhh. then my adrenaline just went up so high. i was nervous.

Miss Ling :: why do want to be nervous? don't worry. the people here are all sporting.

hell yeah, they "ARE" for you. not for me. oh damn. why am i nervous for this pra thingy. maybe because everybody said it was that hard and difficult to pass. but if i have that faith that i will pass, i will pass. i pray that i will manage to pass.

oh God, i pray.

i pray so that on that day, i manage to do it all. Amen.

i wanna drive the car now. i am eager of doing so. ahahahaha. i just need a license to approve that i am a DRIVER. ohohoo.
*wink :)

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MARCH 31st, 2010
1118 hours

it's been a long day that i last updated this blog. waaaaarghh. nothing to say much as usual. just wanna fill in the blog post. its getting less and less everyday. geez. no idea to write anything. wokeyhh. this past few days, as usual, my same old routine. bored as usual. erghhh.

now, new cellphone, new haircut and new spectacles.
newly everything.
waaaaahhhh.
lovinnggg it.

and so, because of boring-ness strike me yesterday, i snap pictures of no untitled just for fun.

that's my new spectacles.
kinda geeky look aite?
erghhhh.
eitherway, my degree had increase again.
its 225 now.
i'm getting blind than ever.
urghhhhh.

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tired day at the clinic.

MARCH 25th, 2010
1416 hours

urghhh. tired day. from morning till afternoon, i'm at the clinic with my mum. so many many and lotsa people that came with their babies. at one occasion, my mum said,

" now here's the Philippines ".
" Philippines?? "

then, came in the Philippine's lady with a baby on her hand. the baby was facing towards her mum and so i can't see the baby's face. when my mum asked the lady to put the baby on the baby scale, she turned and placed the baby to be weighed. i was shocked! you wanna know why?

the baby was super cute!
oh myyyy goodness.
she was a beautiful girl.
the baby girl resembles the face of the heroine at the Pangako Sa Yo film.
urghhhh.

soo cuteeee. damnnn she is. i looked at the baby and started teasing her. eventually, i make her laughed. agagaggaaa. so hilarious. i didn't even had the chance to look at the baby's name on the baby card. apuuuuu. really i really admit that the baby was so cute and beautiful. Philippine's child is indeed the fairest. waaaaaaaa :PP can't even drift away the baby's face.

so damnnnnn cuteee.

awwwwwwww.

the lady also was beautiful. the baby do resembles a lot from her mum. her dad? the wife told my mum that her husband is currently working at Bakun. a long way to go to work though.
the baby was cute! oh my! hahahahaaa.

i end this here.
i really don't have more to say.
ahahhahaa.
mommy!!!
i want sony ericsson W395.
erghhhhhh.
its rm 369.
not rm 499.
please dearest mommy.
uhuuuu :'(

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sony ericsson W395 i love it!

MARCH 24th, 2010
1122 hours

sighhhh. i don't know what to write in this blog. wish i could just reblog like the tumblr does. geez. now i'm addicted to cellphone. sony ericsson W395. oh my. oh my gosshhh. i want to lay hands on that beautiful phone. i want that phone now. now! but i only can buy new phone next month. geez. please mommy, daddy, i want new phone. i want that W395. please. i beg u. i really beg u to buy new phone for me. that W395 is really tempting. urghhhhhh. please biggy please.

i want that W395.
W395.W395. W395.
please. please.
uhuuuuu.
only rm 499.
please buy for me.
i want that phone.
aiguuuuuuuu.
agaggagaggagagaaaa.
i am really falling in love with that W395.
:(
i want it now.
buy for me.
pretty please..

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mayday parade-"I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About"

getting addicted to that song after hearing it from DANI facebook site.
*sorry that i had post your name here, dani.
ehee.
click the link below to view the videos at youtube.
VIDEOS OF THE SONGS
unfortunately its just pictures of them.
no original music video.
but i hope you enjoy the song.
its really heart-warming.
with the guitars too :)
and here is the lyrics.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And we both go down together
We'd stay there forever
Just try to get up
And i'm sorry
This wasn't easy
When i asked you, believe me
And never let go

Well i'm thinking of the worst things
That i could say to you
But a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore
And this never will be right with me
And now you're trying to desperately
But i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say

And then we both go down together
We may stay there forever
I'll just try to get up
And i'm sorry
This wasn't easy
When i asked you, believe me
You never let go
But i let go

I could only sing you sad songs
And you could sing along
And you could see the melody
That's been calling out your wrongs
And this never will be right with me
And now you're trying to desperately
But i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say
But i never told you everything
I'm losing hope and fading dreams
And every single memory along the way

And then we both go down together
We may stay there forever
I'll just try to get up
And i'm sorry
This wasn't easy
When i asked you, believe me
You never let go
But i let go

And we both go down together
And stay there forever
Just try to get up

And then we both go down together
We may stay there forever
I'll just try to get up
And i'm sorry
This wasn't easy
When i asked you, believe me
You never let go
But i let go
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

surely you gonna love the song too after you get the
chance to hear it
*wink ;D

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the same boring day AGAIN

MARCH 13th, 2010
1220 hours

2 days after the result come out, my life is full of boredom. geez. damnnn. all i did was applying for various U's and colleges. just apply anything that can give the air to breathe in me. urghhh. today is Saturday. so, Saturday is kinda bored for me. huh. when will the boredom ends. i dont really know what to post on.

pictures? lame.
others? more lame.

currently listening to only one by yellowcard. its been a very very long time since i last listening to that song. its the old time favourite though :)
anyway, just wanna say i miss that guy. errrrghhh.

damnnnnn x(
it hurts me every time, every hour.
and just now, i just sneeze.
*excuse me.
awwww.
who's missing me at this time?
sigghhhhhh.
when will we be meeting again, dear?
ouhhhhh dannnggg.
it hurts me.

how i miss the every moment :'(
just wanna cry myself out.
tears all over.
*sobsob.

.I NEED YOU SO BADLY NOW.

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unspeakable fact

MARCH 12th, 2010
2054 hours

sighhh. i really am quite busy after what had happened yesterday. quite confused on what to apply. i had update my ipta at the evening just now. just wishing and praying and hopefully one out of eight choices that i had chosen will become my next achievement for my future. i dont ask for more. just at least one of that choices will be my upcoming profession. and if it does, it will be a relieve for me. im really trying my best on applying any college and universities. im just applying 'em. if i successfully will be given one courses and being accepted to that certain college or universities, i'll be quite happy. for some reasons, that is the way to further study aite?

im not choosy in choosing which career i would be given.
every life after SPM have to have the way to the future aite?
errgghhh.
im just talking bluffing eyy?
ahahhaha.
i dont even get it with what im typing.

sighhhhhhhh.
currently listening to we are broken from paramore.
lately i'd been addicted to paramore songs.
i dont even know why.
how i wish i would know what i should do now.
stupid head of mine.
i just wanna go to the beach at this hour.
feeling the cold cold breeze.
wahhhhhhh.
burrrrrrr.
ahahhahahaa.

anyway..
i dont even have any clue what to write next..
and so i end up this post until here.
:)
thanks for reading though.
i really appreciate it.

thanks for reading :)

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SPM SPM its over..

MARCH 11th, 2010
1908 hours

ouh yeahhh. today the result came out.
i was quite the shocked.
but im glad and thankful that i scored those grades.
THANK GODDD!
AMENNNN :)))
hallelujah ;DDD

i just cant wait to further my study.
agagagaggaaaa.
i miss to study again.
after this, i will be damn serious.
no playing tricks or something like that.

i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study. i want to study.

ahahhaaa.
everybody do want to study too.
aint that right?
ehehee.
anyway, congrats to all people that were the ex candidates of spm '09.
wish you all the best of the best :))

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camwhore. camwhoring.

and so this above picture is my currently profile pictures on facebook.
ouh yeahh. i snap a lotsa pictures last night. i dont even know why.
and and i uploaded all of it at my facebook and myspace.
addicted camwhoring.
for here..
i just uploaded half of it.
i really dont have anything to be done last night.
thats why i am insanely freakish snapping my own pictures.
wakakakaaa.
im lovinnnnggg myself.
ahahahhahaaa.
and so..
here it is..

one guy at myspace, says this above picture is nice. because i have that nice smile.
is it?
ahahahhaaa.
i just said thanks though.
:)

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countdown :DD

MARCH 9th, 2010
1313 hours

currently listening to justin bieber new song.
for me its new.
because i just listened to it recently.
the title is FIRST DANCE.
his song with usher.
ouh yeahhhh.
i lovee the lyrics, man :))

anyways..
my status now is .....
naaaaaaa.
WHOCARESMUCHEYY?

i loveee my KANJEZ FRIENDS.

resty.evelyn.shyarrine.sylvia.stevenson.phristella.emmalin.debra.neelwana.elliecia.

i loveeeeeeee you guy & ladies.
forever i loveeee you all :))

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where does this road lead to..

MARCH 9th, 2010
1012 hours

oh my. its tuesday already. erghhh. the result will come out this thursday.
how nervous am i.
gerrrrr.
but lately my appendix kinda give me the pain.
waaaaaaaaaaa.
calm down, stem.
just be calm.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

less to be said in this blog.
from day to day, im getting lazy to update my blog.
maybe nervous about the upcoming result.

x'(

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little detail to be said

currently listening to
three cheers for five years by mayday parade.
you should listen to that song.
i meant the acoustic version.
it gives the deep inner feeling.
awwwww.

benny ben ben just called me just now. and yeahh. we talked and laughed as USUAL. ahahaaa.

the similar routine this few days.
after texting and chatting and and calling.
hihi.

urghhh. SPM will be out this Thursday. i cant even tell what i am really feeling at this hour of time. kinda nervous. feeling wanna cry. im scared of knowing my own result later. but what my mom had said just now kinda comfort me a lil bit.

sighhhhhhhh.

how i need to be calm and comfort now. wish i could handle and go through it all. i had been saying the same word each day..

whatever the result is, i will accept it with an open heart.

i will.
AMEN.

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this past few days, im getting bored to update my blog.

urghhh.
dont know why.
follow with the mood eyy.
but eitherway, learn new tutorial already :)
thanks to pauline.
ahahhaaa.
before this, i really really dont have any clue how to done that thingy.
after i knew it just know..
i was like .....
is it just that simple??
so pity me for only knowing little fact.
wakakakkaaaa.
anyhow..
here's my first thingy that i prt scrn :))

indeed im still a newbie aite?
ouh yeahhhh :))

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if wanna look for more quotes like this..
just go to my tumblr :)
click THIS.
thanks :)

just simple words.
dont know what to say more.

thanks for reading :)

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i know. i know.
but indeed it does happen in the end.
stop crying, stem..
:'(
its all that had been said and done..

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lately i've been active more on tumblr. yaaaa. before this, i active at blogging and mood changes and so mood swing.
on tumblr can simply reblog and wrote easily.
kinda the same thingy same as blogging here.
no difference.
eitherway, maybe i would turn more to tumblr now.
the blog here..
maybe i will update something about it.
but this blog contains so much memory.
all that i had gone through i wrote in this blog of mine.

should i or should not i delete this blog?

still thinking about it.
and yeaaaaaa..
i got compliments from some peoples..
they love my blog.
and so do i.
and and thanks for the compliment yaaa.
thanks for reading the blog that i had wrote too.
i'll think about it again.

anyway, im OUT from here.
God bless :)

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do you know that i love you? i probably already told you, but im going to keep saying it. there is no lies in these words, not one bit. your smile keeps me alive. is one more reason to keep fighting. i would give you my soul for comfort, even if it leaves me dark and cold. && when i hold you close, i can feel your heat fast, and i think to myself..

i've found that "someone" at last..

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finally i had done it.

MARCH 4th, 2010
1411 hours

i had done it. ouh yeahhhhh. ahahhaaa. feel glad that i managed to pass it. only driving on the road just now. then, its all done. erghhhhh. i was totally nervous. why oh why i am that nervous. so not GOOD! eeeeee. but in the end, im okay with that. cheers for me :))

ahahhaaa. really dont have anything to say. ehe. so, i end now.

and and i put a new widget above there. its formspring. ask me anything. i'll be answering it for you and post it in my tumblr.

anyway, GOOD DAY EVERYBODY :))

hahahahaaaa.

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scene :) i wannt it so badlyyyyy

MARCH 3rd, 2010

1427 hours

updates.
more updates.
eyuwwwwwwwww.
ahahaha.

i want that hair.
i want it.
gerrrrr.
i will try this weekend.
hopefully my mum give me the permission to go to the saloon.
yarghhhhhh.
i wannttt that fringe.
long sleek puhhhleaseeeeee..
waarghhhhh.
side swept bangs also nice aite?
wait.
wait.
its not nice.
its damn awesomenesssssss.
ahahahhaaaa.

cant wait.
cant waittt at all.
erghhhh.

lmfao day today.
i hate onlining 24/7.
the bill is piling up though.
wakakakakaaaa.

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