the memories will never ever fade away :')

OCTOBER 28th, 2011
2120 HOURS

hey loves :) after all this time, i never thought i had the chance to blog again. well, here i am. blogging once again. posting about what things topics or something i might think it's exciting. let us continue reading then. this past few months was quite challenging. well, you see there's the ups and downs of life. challenges everywhere. circumstances faces everyday of our life. yeah right i'm bluffing.

okay. now it's about the heart expression :')

since February 4th, 2011 i'd been alone till now. the period of 2 years and 3 months with you. but seriously the memories, the good, the bad, the sweetness, the bitterness and everything. just because i finally got over everything, it doesn't mean there aren't days when it all just come rushing back again. i wonder why until now i never intend on looking for the love as what i had left that day of February 4th ? i'm not forcing myself to fall in love back again. it's just that i don't have the heart to do so. but somehow, the feeling of liking & admiring that someone are just so typical for a person like me. it's normal. but again, the feeling superb feeling of love haven't bloom yet in me. maybe in a sense that i'm growing up now and i'm having that mature thinking of my own future and even of my own family and career that i'll be taking to survive when i get to that exact point where i'll be thinking of marriage and families and somehow creating my own family future plan.

but seriously i don't know what to react and what to feel after that February 4th. see ? until now, i still remember that date. should i or shouldn't i remember that ? exactly it's 9 months distance towards my birthday on November 4th.

well, nothing but hopes on high and God bless on your relationship with her :) i pray so that you'll be happy forever with her and even i know you'll be marrying her soon enough.
i'm happy for you :')
take care of her 'cause i know you'll be a good husband-to-be and a good protective father-to-be soon. you'll be great in anything you do 'cause you have that determination.
you'll be okay and be blessed in everything you do.

again i'm happy for you, Elekson :)

officially by stemmy stemot :)

thanks for reading :)

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i'm okayyyy

AUGUST 20th, 2011
2249 HOURS
for real, after all this time, i've updated my blog for almost 2 months maybe disappearing out to nowhere. you gotta know that bloggers do need their passion in writing a blog though. not just simply whams it all up just like you post status on facebook. yeah right. well, i outta make some changes for now. thinkin' of all the ups and downs that i've been through this past 2 months that i'm goin' off with blogging. missin' it too but yeah got nothing to say back then. but now, i have tons of topics to be post onto here. but for sure again, it takes the right time and the right moment to post it all.
this past few days, i kinda have a heart that had been slightly broken and several cuts and bruises. yeah i know it's just a metaphor but you know what i meant about right ? guys oh guys. they just keep saying things without having relevant proof or even have the intention to even ask about the matter. they just love playing it all the rough way. i admit they do. even the slight-est matter were brought up like a big, huge and enormous matter like damn !
i like this one guy way back then but just because of the reasons that we were far away from each other was such a failure. i, myself in return really seriously dislike to force people especially him on taking chances. his life. his choices. the only thing that he kept saying was

" be my future "
i still remember everything seriously everything but the other day we got in a huge fight. just because of this one guy that goes sweetie love dove to me, he just barge in and ambushed me like i'm the very victim that's totally dangerous to him. in all of a sudden, he sent me a text saying all those F stuff.
don't you really know that i really hate guy's that say such a thing when you're totally innocent ?
and i was like oh my gosh. i was totally depressed, hurt and obviously being torn off apart. we argue and argue till hours. i was hurt in the process of telling him the truth. but still he tend to say that i was wrong and this and that. what a failure i feel. at the end, all i thought of was to end all of this at once. i told him and i told him goodddddddd ! i end it all that very night and yeah i ended it. that very last text was the last text that i received from him. and so do i. maybe.
life must go on. and so do the world. spinning and swirling without caring about the altitude. shit. i'm talking about geometry for goodness sake. life's all about surviving. once you lost in a battle, get up back again and strike back. surprise your opponent and exclaimed that you're not a coward and will make a difference. even they say no, turn away and said " watch me ".
* i post on what i feel and no offence. if you're the guy that i'm talkin' about above, just want to say take good care of yourself. maybe this is the best pathway that we should take from now on. i know you love me, but somehow maybe this won't get along too well. just be a good guy and i know you'll find a suitable girl for you soon enough.

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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updated again again and again :)

JUNE 17th, 2011
1528 HOURS

finally updated my blog once again with new apps.
love it fascinating too :)
even though its kinda messy a bit.
i don't care about it.
as long as i'm happy with it.
oh baby baby i miss you !

rawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !

officially by stemmy stemot :)

thanks for reading :)

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love the crazy never-ending life

JUNE 17th, 2011
1315 HOURS

get addicted snap snap again. HAHAHA. i just can't stop snapping pictures. passionate maybe :D
anyways, just have the interest to type and being a typing maniac won't matter.
i guess my laptop i'm using is full of songs and pictures that i often took.
so packed up but when it's loading time, there is no problem at all.
maybe i'm the problem to this :)
wanna buy a new hard disk. with big space of mega bytes. maybe nano bytes. i love that ^.^
so that i can pack all of my songs and pictures there. like the one hard disk that i have now. it's full of movies and songs. not to say about pictures. how i'm addicted to that stuff.
even my mom said i'm too crazy about songs and taking pictures.
i just laughed to that sayings.

but hey hey. change the topic for a while. i'm thinking of wanna go to the saloon. i wanna do my hair. get my hair done :) even wanna dye it maybe. HIHIHHIHIHIHI :D
its been months i haven't enter any saloon.
i miss that saloon where i had my last treatment last year.
wanna feel gorgeous again.
any opinion to make ?
i told my mom about it just now and here's the conversation we had.

Me : Mom, i want to get my hair done.
Mom : How do you want it to be ? straight again or curl ?
Me : I prefer to have it straight again. about curling, i can do it myself. Can i ?
Mom : Sure. But what for the right time first. I'm quite busy now. We'll be going together. I want to have mine curl.
Me : *HAPPY MODE. Okayyyyyy :DD

i was smiling widely when i heard mom said that. and so, i'm just waiting for the right time.
oh saloon~
my saloon at the Parkcity.
Loreal Paris Saloon here i come ! :)
as if never ever been to a saloon before =.="
about to dye the hair, it will be consider later ^.^
but my hair still looks straight actually.
see ?

but i want to get it done also.
just loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it.

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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the best site and simple for beginner of blogger :)

JUNE 16th, 2011
1358 HOURS

now now. when i was browsing around my facebook homepage and profile, there came a notifications on KML students page. i viewed it and saw the post of Shekine :) its about the tutorial for beginner blogger. so here's the site

click to the link above to see the various helpful tutorial.
thanks to Shekine :)

p/s give tons of tutorial yea so that bloggers can design their page with the help from that tutorial ^^

officially by stemmy stemot :)

thanks for reading :)

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my day of NOTHING but BORED

JUNE 14th, 2011
1400 HOURS

its Tuesday and i never did realized it. staying at home like this didn't make me realize about almost anything. doing nothing like exactly nothing is bored. if i go out or ever release my tension to the beach nearby, well my mood will be a lil bit okay. but it doesn't mean i have to do that everyday. surely it'll be bored for sure.
finally, i've put songs here :)
hope you enjoy that and yeah it does have that deep meaning in my life.
saddens but i won't want to bother.
seriously, the past still haunts me even i didn't thought of it.
the past just flashback back to me. everything. and i have to snap myself out of those past.
those past surely give me a hard lesson to be learnt. now, seriously i keep repeating myself that i still can't open my heart to any guy.

for the guys that i ever rejected, i'm sorry. maybe we're just meant to be not more just a friend.

i never thought i had turned to be like i am now. before this, i was a strong and brave yet still crying like a baby. but now, i am no longer that type of girl. i rather be alone by myself and not to get along with others. the old me is gone. gone forever. i am the new me. the new me that keep rejecting, fragile, hurt and never ending being sensitive. i'm sorry because i am not perfect.

and yeah no relation for now. no mood for that.
but someday, maybe someday there will be a guy that surely gonna open my heart back again.
i know that God will surely lead me to the way that he want me to take.
i put my whole trust in Him :')

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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JUNE 13th, 2011
0221 HOURS

its totally fun day today. HAHAHAHA.
well, get to think of it, this immature kind of girlfriend picked a fight with me.
reasons ?
she thinks i want to seduce her boyfriend.
oh you stripper.
never in my life i did ever want to.
so lets just pass.
i got everything snap snap below the " NICE " conversation between me and her below.
and it was very " NICE " indeed :D

just click on the picture to view it BIGG ! :)

i had it all print screen baby !
guess what ?
the last comment when she said " JUST SEE & WAIT " , the thing that she was doing was she clicked that UNFRIEND button and UNFRIEND her " LOVELY " boyfriend with me.
and i was like " DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ???? "
as if i CARE ?

fyi, your boy there was the one that began all this conversation. and i was only giving a feedback. don't you read ?


thanks for reading :)

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MAY 26th, 2011
1844 HOURS

see those smile above ? it really doesn't mean that i'm happy.
deep down you really won't want to know.
its been a long time though since i last updated this blog.
well, been busy this few weeks.
driving back and forth from Miri to Bintulu.
quite tiring.
plus, bodyache everywhere.

tomorrow is Friday and again, bye Bintulu and hello Miri :)
back there again to clean and doing houseworks plus chores at our new home there.
can't wait.
i am really enjoying my 4 months holiday though.

actually nothing to say much but will be updating again later :))

lovess ^^

officially by stemmy stemot :))

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got this from Regina ♥

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.

Girl: Ricardo, what do you mean?

Boy: Something has come up...

Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?

Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.

Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesn't break up with me... I love him so much.

Boy: Baby, are you there?

Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important?

Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..

Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.

Boy: I'm leaving..

Girl: Baby, what are you talking about? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.

Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.

Girl: Why? All of your family lives over here.

Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.

Girl: I can't believe this.

Father: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously) Jessica! What did I tell you about talking to boys?! Get off the damn phone! (And hangs up)

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.

Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I don't want you to go.

Boy: Would you run away with me?

Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!

Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..

Girl: *Thinking* I can't believe what's going on.

Boy: I need to give you something tonight, because I am leaving on flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.

Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.

Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.

(They meet at a nearby park, they both hug each other. And he gives her a note.)

Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.

Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)

Boy: Baby, don't cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.

Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)

(They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her)

It says...


You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and don't you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didn't think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.

- Ricardo"

( Jessica begins to cry, she throws the paper in the garbage & cries for hours. )

... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....

Friend: How are you feeling?

Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.

Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...

Girl: Umm.. okay.

(She finds a piece of paper in the jacket.)

It says:

"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...

Hate = Love

Never = Always

Bitch = Baby

Will not = will

.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"

Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me! He must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!

( Erica turns the TV on. )

[Breaking news]

"An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.

( She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... )

... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.

From : tumblr

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it rocks T O D A Y

MAY 19th, 2011
2138 HOURS

did i tell ? naaaa. i don't at all. well, guess what ?
i just can't stop typing on and packing off my blog.
know what i mean ?
i can't stop updating all of this and update and update.
my fingers are all over this keypad.
how i wish i have an ipad to replace this laptop.
its okay then :))
at least i had a laptop for goodness sake.

i wanna talk about today.
MAY 19th, 2011

nothing much happened today actually. the only thing happening was i woke up late and i spent 2 hours in front of the laptop without taking my shower first.
now that's rock ! totally beyond sensation !
i took my lunch with my mom & lil brother after that.
washing all those dishes with those stain on the kitchen.
all over.
rush rush rush rush rush rush rush
there i was in front of the laptop back again.
staring at those screen and playing Cafe Life at Facebook.
hey i got addicted to that game since i'd finished my Matriculation okay ?
nothing to do though besides doing those chores just now and being a full-time driver.
i still do need some excitement and enjoyment to back-up myself from those tiring and boring thingy.

i went online for 4 to 5 hours.
daily routine for me to be online for that period of time.
totally racked.
and now at this hour i online again.
what a mess ! totally spoil girl i am !
well who cares.
i am relaxing and enjoying this 4 months holiday of doing nothing at all.

i'm starting to miss him already.
>.< oh Mr Perfect !
why do i kept on thinking of you this past few days ?
is this what i called crazy ?

i must stop styping those HAHA.
it shows that i'm going nuts already with this blogging.

and guess what ???

byeeeeeeeeeee !

officially by stemmy stemot :))

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bored time

MAY 19th, 2011
1819 HOURS

hey loves :) i've updated everything on my blog.
i think :/
nevermind then. at least i never stop my passion on writing non-stop in this blog.

this blog is a LEGEND !

bluffing me.
well, nothing more that i want to post actually.
keep updating :))

officially by stemmy stemot :))

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result day out plus excited mood burst :)

MAY 19th, 2011
1055 HOURS

guess what loves ? i've passed my result :')
i don't know whether to be happy or to be sad just because of this result.
but i'm quite glad that i've passed this exam.
those 2 semester was the pain in the ass.
but i just can't wait to further study and complete my degree.
i just wanna stop this studying and get to work.
teheeee ~

and hell yeah, i miss that guy !
darnnnnnnnnnn !
last night, we text again :))
i thought maybe he was studying somehow by that time.
well, it's exam week for them now.
so, i decided to disturb him :DD
i took my cellphone and type in the text message.

" weyyy. i miss you :) "

then, i sent to him. i continue with all the onlining thingy on facebook and watching House.
well, it was nearly 11 though last night.
not long after that, my cell vibrates.
i quickly took it and happily saw his name on the screen.
i opened the text message.

" hehe. bok jak mok msg tek "

it means that " just wanted to text you just now actually "

and i was like yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :DD
then, we continue texting and texting and texting till 1 in the morning.
i decided to stop the conversation not because i was sleepy but i need my rest.
tired of all the drama from morning :)
therefore, i sent him the text.

" eyy. i want to sleep. ada masa kita text2 gik oh :) miss you everyday. nights and bla bla bla "

won't get into detail about that.

won't get to tell about others too.
privacy is important :))


i just can't stop from admiring and liking him since the first time i know him.
it really does and its kinda heal my heart when he said he miss me too :'c
sadly, i don't called it love.
still, i can't opened my heart to anyone.
seriously i mean it.

anyways, a guy like him is too perfect to be called love for me.
too perfect.
we'll be friends :)
because being the closest friends won't be tough.
nothing can separate us from sharing everything :))))

officially by stemmy stemot :))

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matriculation results makes me wait like a whore.

MAY 18th, 2011
0215 HOURS

yeah people. i can't even had a shut eye at this moment. didn't have the sleepiness in me though. why oh why. darn douchebag. this result of mine is making me sick. waiting is not my hobby okay ? why don't you just display the result and let us students do the job ? gerrr. i just type and wrote what's on my mind now.

the room is dark and i don't know what i'm typing. just focus on the screen of my laptop and stare at the words that were appeared in from of me. rawrrrrrr~ i want my results so badly. who wants waiting should be exist in this world ? and why does it should be at 10 am ? lousy people. too lazy to work and updating the result so don't ever work ! stupid jerk. your life is sick !

oh darn. i guess i won't be sleeping tonight. yeah its morning now so what ? gerrr.

i've drank carlsberg already. lots of it. didn't count on how many cans i drank on because i just drank. luckily i didn't go drunk. and secondly, i quit smoking.
yeah i just go on and off on smoking.
not the type of 24/7.

oh i just need a rest. my body does but my eyes can't even shut 'em.
such a fag.

anyways, at least i'm in a good mood today. i text with him :))
now that's a different story to be said.
the inside story i won't be writing all the details here.
it won't be a secret :D
no can do for that.
only him and I knew about it.
and its getting stronger and deeper than it was before ^.^
well, AMEN for that.

last but not least, i just wanna say

officially by stemmy stemot :))

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no reasons at all :')

A Girl asked her Boyfriend

GF: Why do you love me?
BF: I have no reason.

...GF didnt like it 'n say

GF: No. Give me a reason.
BF: Ohkay... 'Coz you're beautiful, caring 'n attractive.

Girl was satisfied,
Then one day she got sick 'n look Terribly Thin, Pale 'n Weak...

GF: Do you still love me?
BF: Now that you're not pretty 'n attractive do i have a reason to love you?

Girl Cried...
The boy hold her hand 'n say...

BF: Now you Understand?

"Love doesn't need reasons.
I Love You 'n still love you no matter what Happens."

not officially by stemmy stemot.
copyright owns.

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10 Ways to Melt a Woman's Heart:

Specially for Boys;
10 Ways to Melt a Woman's Heart:

1. Call Her When you're feeling Sad, :(

2. Ask to See A Picture of Her;
When She was a Child..! ^_^

3. Occasionally Call Her;
By Her First and Middle Names, :))

4. When She's feeling Insecure;
Stare Into Her Eyes and Tell Her;
"There is No-One in the World
Who could be as Right for you as She Is..♥"

5. Call Her just Before you get on the Plane, :))

6. Try Desperately;
To Make Her Laugh When She's feeling Down, :D

7. In the Middle of a Conversation;
Tell Her you Love Her..♥ :))

8. Notice When She's Wearing Something New, :))

9. Hug Her When She gets Jealous..,
Hug Her Hard..! ♥ x

10. Put your Arms Around Her;
When you Introduce Her to your friends and family..♥ :)

-> Must Try Guyz,
Its Really Works..♥ :* ;)
& Girlz, Agree Haa ?? :))

not officially by stemmy stemot.
copyright owns.

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anniversary of sweet bloggie ♥

MAY 12th, 2011
1615 HOURS

its about 2 years and 3 months of my sweet bloggie :)
never thought that it would be that fast that bloggie had grown :')
bloggie is full of memories.

it was an experience of a lifetime. reading all the post for the past years, all of it was the moments that i will never ever forget.
even if i had said that i am over with you, the moment and the feelings will never fade.
sorry to say this but that's the truth :'c

appreciate the moment while you'll still breathing.
it doesn't matter with what others said.

and yeah the past really gives the impact.
you're still in my history list.
no way i will erase you and clean you up.
it's too precious.

i can move on but the moment still there.
i'm sorry.

officially by stemmy stemot.
heartbroken moment.

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A boy was teaching maths to a girl.

Boy kissed Girl, again kissed her and said- dis is called "addition"

Girl kissed Boy and said- dis is called "subtraction"
Both of them kissed each other and said- dis is called "multiplication"

suddenly Girl`s Father came, he beaten boy and thrown him out of home and said- dis is called

"Division" :P

not own by stemmy stemot :)

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A facebook chat between Ex-couples...
Girl : hey
Boy : hii =)
Girl : how are u ??
*Boy types : I'm miserable!
I need u back!
I miss u ! I LoVe U!
*Then erased it...
Boy : I'm fine

Do You Think The Boy Should Erease The Text ? !♥!

not own by stemmy stemot :)

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When a girl cries for a guy, it means she really misses him. But when a guy cries for a girl, it means no one can love that girl more than him..:)

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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awwwwwwwwwww !

girl: lets just break up
boy: ok then, ill just go back to my ex
girl: wow you are an idiot. we're totally over,
next day ..
boy: I still love u
girl:i thought we break up? & you said that you would go back to your ex right?
boy: exactly, i'm coming back to you♥♥:)

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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cutie pie :)

MAY 3th, 2011
1618 HOURS

gf: heyy babe :)

bf: hi ♥

gf: how are you?

bf: good

gf: everything ok babe?

bf: not really

gf: whats wrong?

bf: when im not with you i feel like crap, when i dont see you i feel depressed. basicly i need you with me to survive:)

awwww. isn't that sweet ? :DD

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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reasons && i hate egomaniac

APRIL 29th, 2011
2136 HOURS

i am so excited today.
*big grin

the reasons ?

1. i got the chance to drive the car with my mum & lil bro in the car.
2. in a sudden i am in my happy mood. ( don't even know why )
3. will be going to Miri tomorrow after attending mass at church.
4. shopping
5. get wild
can't wait though.

other topics now.
i had successfully removed several people that i assumed were the ones that i don't know well and even the ones that i don't want to get connected with.
my second facebook account is more private than the first one.
sorry for being so rude but i still give intake because i don't remove them from my first account.
consider you're lucky okay

if you can be that ego and arrogant, i can be one too.
let's see who will back down first.

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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its all about L O V E

don't find love, let love find you. that's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.

officially by stemmy stemot :)

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