nothing to say, indeed i say it in the end

MARCH 1st, 2010
1144 hours

currently listening to baby by justin bieber. gettin' addicted with that song nowadays. urghh. its march 1st. cant believe it but not long after this, the result would come out. nervous. nervousa. eee. yesterday i followed the bengkel teori for 3 hours. geez. crowded place with noisy people. luckily i sat in front and i could heard what the front people said clearly. huh. lmao. lmao. lmfao day. nothing that attracted me today. feel bored and bored each day. geez.

what am i writing and posting here now huh?
i dont know

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damn it was not good.
damn it all.
freakish bloodish full.
im so not in the mood.
get on with it.
nasty peeps.

well, heyy!
i got a big pimple on my right cheek.
i hate it.
but i love it too.
stupid much.

bluffing about stupid facts.
nothing to say.
but still im typing now.
STUPID yaaa.

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andy sixx

get to know ANDY SIXX. he's the vocalist from BLACK VEIL BRIDES. not a familiar band eyy? well, yeahh. i admit it too. not much knowing this band till i saw this band at myspace recently. i quickly glanced to their profile and watch their MV at youtube.

and i was like woww!

i was in shocked. shocked because of what? because of their songs. their genre that they focus on were so awesome. i love their song entitled " KNIVES AND PENS ". currently i am listening to that song now. well, below are the pictures of Andy Sixx. i love his appearance a lots :)

this is the shot where he was in the MV of KNIVES AND PENS

and this one.
i loveeeeeeeeeeee this snapshot a lot.
he is so cuteeeee!
i love the snake bites though.
gorgeous ANDY SIXX!!

last but not least, i lovee this above picture.
his eyes are like ...... awesome!
sweet eyes.
so adorableee you are, andy!

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FEBRUARY 24th, 2010
0959 hours

i hate today.
someone just disturb my beauty sleep.
damn who-ever-FAUZI-name-you-are.
i was dreaming a nice and wonderful dream.
but you disturbed my sleep.
a jerk you are.

urghhhhhhhhhh x(

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less online :(

FEBRUARY 22th, 2010
1034 hours.

from this day onward, i will be less online. urghhh. lmao huh? eeee. but i dont blame no one. i blame myself. gerr. but at least i online only on morning. have to less on internet from now. i dont want my eyes to get more blurry than ever.


thats what my mom LOVE to say and i would just like nod and nod.

huh. i hate arguement. so, i just follow the flow.

eyyy. you wanna know what? i text with casanova yesterday. emm. i hate myself for texting him. i regret it. luckily no tears were to fall. he hurt me before and i wont let him hurt me again. im not that weak to fight the feeling. i can live my own life. when i already totally erased you from my memories..


i hate you for making me like this. better for you not to disturb me again. before this, i dont even remember you and never want to. but you came back again on that night.


i have totally managed to erase and throw you away from my life. but you came appearing yourself to me. why on earth you act that stupid, hah??!!!!

sigh. i dont want to remember and flashback on those occasion. i dont want at all. you broke it and i hate it. feel disgusted over you.

i PRAY and WISH that i wont ever meet you again.
i PRAY so that, when i go to school to take my slip SPM RESULT, i wont be seeing your face.
i PRAY so that, i will hate you..
but somehow, i cant.
i cant hate you.

im sorry, ken.
im just sorry.

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ella's 18th BIRTHDAY :))

FEBRUARY 22th, 2010
1009 hours

today is PHRISTELLA SERLLY's birthday.
happy 18th birthday, my sygg.
i pray so that you will live in
unfortunately, i never get to see your face on your birthday.
and saying it face to face to you.
but at least i text you aite?
i miss you, friend.
miss to hear the laughter that we all had.
no, crying hour at this birthday.
we must be extremely and over happiness!
God bless you always, ella..

i SAYANG you, my KABAN.


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kyuhyun from SUJU

FEBRUARY 20th, 2010
1336 hours

currently listening to sorry sorry answer by SUPER JUNIOR. getting addicted to those song since i first saw the music video at channel V. ahahaa. those guys are extremely soo HOT. and andd im a big biggg fan of KYUHYUN. arghhhh. can you spot him from the above pictures? well, below this are lots of pictures of him in solo. ehe. eitherway, he's just 4 years older than me. uhuu. not far much the age. his birthday is on february 3rd, 1988. hihi.


aint he adorable?? awwwwwwwwwww.

he is soo the GORGEOUS!

i really loveee his smile.
oh my gosh!

be mine, kyuhyun.

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see that cute girl?
well, thats KAREN.
my twinny, my lil sys, my syg, my dearest.
idk but i kinda forget the first time i get to know her.
sorry, twinny.
short - memory eyy.
FYI, this cute cuddly girl is the only one my adik angkat that i ever have.
i never had a lil sys before
and so im glad that she's my lil sista.
really i am.
now she's in FORM 1.
had met her before at church.
but not that always.
now that we're seldom meet.
miss her a lots eyy.
eventhough, we rarely texting..
it doesnt mean i stop caring and loving you, twinny.
i love you because you're my adik.
being a big sis to have a lil sys is unexpected for me.
i love having a lil sys because they're the same gender as me.
knowing the situation heat - to - heart.
i share my problems and she share hers.
equally we did share a lot.
including love life.
personal maybe.
but its already synonym between us.
aint that true, my dearest cute and cuddly lil sys karen?
dont blush, my dear.
i just loveeeeeeeee saying that word.
because thats the truth eyy.
wanna get to know her?
well, she owned a blog too.
just CLICK THIS to view her blog.

to lil sys, sorry if i took the picture above without your permission.
the picture is totally cuteeee of you.
and and andddd..
this below picture is the picture that she wanna sent to me using MMS.
but sadly my cellphone cant retrieve the MMS.
but thanks to her, she uploaded it at facebook.
i loveeee that picture, dear.
thanks a lot.
kissesss to youu!

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mommy's birthday

FEBRUARY 17th, 2010
1058 hours

today is mommy's birthday!
happy 45th birthday to you, mum.
hope all what you had pray and hope and wish for will come true.
may you are always blessed.
and even take a good care of yourself and our family too.
i know you're strong in faith and determined.

indeed today you have to go for work.
but its your job too.
and tonight is ASH WEDNESDAY.
gotta go to church.
i love you, mom.
and anddd anndddd..


::lots of love lovee from me::

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the day

FEBRUARY 16th, 2010

2137 hours

tuning to the music at my blog. nice eyy? ehe. monica also said she loveeee the song. hihi. its been a long longggg longggggggg time since i last listening to that song. the last time was when i was form 4. when i couple with the dork. ahahahaa. well, past let be past. whats the most important is the present. its not that, the song is about me and the dork. no way, man. you are totally out of my mind!


huh. just now, my mum, my lil brother and me went on shop-shop around bintulu. ahahaa. well, thats what i called shoppinggggg though. we went to farley, both sing kwong and anddd we went to lots of places. cant name it all. agagagagaaaaa. as if i never been to bintulu before. ehe. totally wacko.

now, currently texting with daphiny rini. we're talking about school life and now we're talking about memories. uhuu. she's the one that always be with me when im in sadness and have problems. almost all about my love life and even my personal matter i share with her. we share almost about everything. i love you, daphyyyy :D and here's one of the pictures that we took at the time we were still in school.

still have lots and lotss of it in my friendster album. ehe. we were really addicted on taking photo shots at that age. uhuuu. miss the school days. miss the laughter. miss the naughty hour. miss the guys. opssss. i meant miss the friends. ehe. okay okay. i upload more of the photos.

this was daphy's shot. she was the one that snap-snap the pictures and my face were like ...... urghhhh. :D

i reallyyyyy love making those kiss-lips . ehe.

and this picture. :3 i lovee them. from the left that is me, neelwana and daphyy.
i miss those time. i love them. they're are my BFF. totallyyy fuckin' lovin them.

not to forget my D'KREPTSENSES friends.
i love you all too.
miss to hangout again.
again i upload this pictures.
when we had finished our last SPM paper that was CHEMISTRY on that day.

no edit. just the simple and original photo taken from eunice.
thanks, eunice :)
really appreciate it a lot.

i SAYANG you all, my dearest kanjez.

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jangan ganggu aku dulu

Apa tak bosan kau terus sakiti aku
Namun ku tetap mencoba bersabar
Tapi manusia memiliki batas rasa
Jika kau lakukan berulang-ulang

Jangan kau ganggu aku dulu
Aku tak ingin bertemu kamu
Ku harap kamu akan berubah
Jangan hubungi aku dulu
Aku tak ingin kau ganggu dulu
Sekarang kau pikirkan salahmu

Coba kau pikir mengapa aku begini
Aku merasa kau takkan setia

Back to Reff

Aku mengalah dan putuskan semua
Ku ingin kau sadari

Back to Reff

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i still

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last (to last)

I've tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

That I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No no
Wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go (without you)

Though everything's been said and done (yeah)
I still feel you (I still feel you)
Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you)
But still no (still no word) word from you

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LOVE have their own rules

kiss on the lips - i love you

kiss on the ear - you are special

kiss on the nose - laughter

kiss on the cheek - friendship

kiss on the forehead - i comfort you

kiss on the neck - i want you

kiss on the shoulder - you are special and wonderful

kiss anywhere else - be careful

play around with your hair - can't live without you

holding hands - happiness

arms around waist - you are mine, i need you

a hug - i care

nibble in the ear - start warming up

smiling at each other - i like you

lifting eyebrows or wink - flirtation

looking around - hiding your feelings

tender kiss on the side of your lips - you are mine

wetting your lips - waiting for a kiss

teardrops - i'm losing you

crying - i had lost you

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biar rasa & hati sering sejalan

situasi : anda berhadapan dengan si dia

anda rasa : tapak tanganmu berkeringat, hatimu berdebar kencang dan suaramu seakan tersekat di rongga dada.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi SUKA.

situasi : anda ternampak kelibatnya.

anda rasa : mata anda tidak terlepas dari terus memandangnya walaupun si dia tidak perasan kehadiran anda di situ.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi NAFSU.

situasi : si dia berada jauh dari anda. mungkin out station atau sebagainya.

anda rasa : anda terlalu menginginkannya dan ingin segera berada di sampingnya.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi KESEPIAN.

situasi : anda ingin mendekati dirinya tetapi sukar kerana ada banyak halangan. tetapi anda tetap tidak berputus asa sebaliknya terus berusaha.

anda rasa : perasaan anda meluap-luap untuk mendekati dirinya. anda tidak puas hati selagi tidak berjaya.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi KESETIAAN.

situasi : si dia meminta penjelasan daripada anda. apakah perasaan anda terhadapnya. walhal anda sendiri keliru dengan perasaan anda.

anda rasa : anda amat menyenangninya. anda menyukainya. tetapi anda tidak tahu adakah ia cinta? demi menjaga hatinya, anda mengakui yang anda cintakannya!!

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi BELAS KASIHAN.

situasi : pandangan matanya sungguh menusuk kalbu hingga membuatkan anda terleka dan tertawan.

anda rasa : betapa bahagianya anda apabila anda perhatiannya.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi ANGAU.

situasi : si dia menyakitkan hati anda.

anda rasa : memang anda terasa pedih dengan kesalahannya tetapi anda maafkannya jua. anda lebih memandang kebaikannya dari perkara salah yang dilakukannya itu.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi PERSAHABATAN.

situasi : si dia ingin tahu, adakah setiap masa hanya dia yang berada di hati dan ruang fikiran anda?

anda rasa : anda memikirkannya tetapi bukan setiap detik kerana anda turut memikirkan banyak perkara saban hari. tetapi anda terpaksa mangakui pertanyaan si dia kerana bimbang si dia akan merajuk pula.

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi DUSTA.

situasi : anda sanggup membuat apa sahaja demi si dia termasuklah memenuhi permintaannya membelikan pelbagai jenis hadiah biar pun ada yang di luar kemampuan anda.

anda rasa : demi si dia, lautan api sanggup ku renangi. apatah lagi sampai poket pun kering kontang! anda sanggup! anda rela!

dalam hati(hakikatnya) : itu bukan CINTA tetapi MURAH HATI.


adakah anda terus bertahan biarpun sejuta rasa bercampur baur di hati anda? antara kesakitan dan kegembiraan, hingga membutakan anda untuk terus mengakui betapa hebatnya perasaan yang anda alami. anda mahu terus bersamanya. bagaikan kuasa magnet yang menarik anda terhadapnya. ITULAH CINTA.

apakah anda sanggup menerima kesalahannya kerana menganggap tiada manusia yang sempurna dan tiada manusia yang terlepas dari melakukan kesilapan? jika demikian, ITULAH CINTA.

biar pun ada orang lain yang mendambakan cinta anda. biar pun ada orang lain yang sanggup melakukan apa sahaja buat anda. tetapi anda hanya mahukan si dia, tanpa ada sebarang batasan, barangan mahu pun penyesalan. ITULAH CINTA.

anda sanggup menangis dan bersusah payah bersamanya. anda sanggup melalui segala suka duka bersamanya biar pun sebenarnya anda berpeluang melepasi tahap tersebut tanpanya. anda harus kuat kerana dia. ITULAH CINTA.

hati anda gembira ketika si dia berbahagia. hati anda menangis ketika si dia muram. ITULAH CINTA.

sinar matanya menusuk kalbu, menusuk ke jauh dasar hatimu, menyentuh lembut jiwamu dan membuatkan hatimu mekar mewangi selalu. jika hal yang sedemikian berlaku, maka apa yang hati anda rasai...


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