happy birthday, NEELWANA :)

APRIL 29th, 2010

1209 hours


oh yess!
it's NEELWANA bestday today.


aiguuuuu.
happy birthday to you my gorgeous darling sweet cupcake.
hihi.
now you're officially 18 years old.
yarghhhh.
keep the low batt profile.
ahahhahaha.
i HEART you dearly dear.
thanks for being my friends for the past 2 years already.
really appreciate it a lot.
you're like my BESTEST BUTTIES ever!
ahahahhaaa.
and again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NEELWANA..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

hihi.
loveee you sayang.

friends forever :)

i love you ketat ketat :D

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i'm hurt

there's nothing more i can say. the title had explained everything.
yes, i am hurt.
why did i encounter those profile at facebook?
why why?
i hate myself for making that mistakes.
i shouldn't have browse the pictures.
it really HURTS me.
:'(
and i hate myself because i am crying because of it.

why on earth, why???!

from this day onward, no more TEXTING you, no more CALLING you.
after what i had saw earlier on..
the pictures on facebook...
it FUCKIN' hurt my heart.
with what i'm feeling, it is indescribable.
i am too much in pain.
after i saw that PICTURES, i delete EVERYTHING.
from your TEXT MESSAGES that you sent, your PICTURES to your PHONE NUMBER.
i won't regret on taking that decision.
the other day you'd said sweet things.
but now, i have seen with my two own eyes.
the PICTURES explain it all.
i can't help it but to cry.
you really over limit it.
i can't take much pressure on that and i promise myself from this very hour,

I WON'T NEITHER CONTACT NOR TEXT AND TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.

i can't take it anymore.
i just can't.
i'm way hurt than before.
don't ever look for me anymore.
we will never stay connected again.
*sobsobb.

P/S the pictures that you sent are equally the same pictures that she had. is that just a coincidence?
FUCK YOU!
I AM FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH!

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my biography :)

APRIL 22th, 2010
1041 hours

okay okay. let's introduce a lil bit about the owner of this OUHOUHJOLLYFUNFUNN.

my full name is Stemarlia Burat. i'm gonna be 18 at november 4th. so, do the math :D
i'm currently staying at Bintulu and hell yeah, i am a Bintulu-an resident. i'm proud :)
i have 3 siblings including me.
i'm in the middle, that means i'm in the second and also i am the only GIRL in the family.
am the daughter of Steward Gima and Maria.
i've got the elder brother, that is Souven Jawa, 21 and lil brother, Leo Gelau, 10.

the above picture is me with my lil bro :)
he's way CHINESE looking than i am.
errghhh.
i'm envy of him.
ahahhahaha.

we live the ordinary life same as other people.
not living on luxury life or something like that.
only the simple life.
i'm not saying BIG things arr.
take note on that.

in about 1 week plus, i'll be away to Labuan to study at the Matriculation.
will be away about 1 year.
erghhhhh.
it kinda sucks because no GAWAI for me.
and my cousins are bullying and teasing me about me.
geez.
its just sokay. i'm away for studying. there's always next year aite?
hmphhh >.<

i will do my very best and pray for me there.

thank you :)

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i will always be by your side :')

I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep
Just close your eyes relax and breathe,
In slowly, no, don't feel lonely
Cause, I'll be right here, by your side
If you should awake into the night,
Keep dreaming
Cause I'll be keeping

Your, heart in mine,
Don't you know I'll always be near
Even in the hardest time,
Don't you know I'm always right here
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up because,
It's alright,
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side

Remember the days when we would drive,
Into the night we'd watch the skies, of summer,
So full, of colour and,
Remember the days when waves would roll,
Up on the beach to touch our toes,
On soft sand,
My hand, in yours and,

Your heart in mine
Don't you know I'll always be near
Even in the hardest times
Don't you know I'm always right here
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up, because it's alright
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side

Laying flat on our backs
We stared up at the sky
We were laughing so hard,
We had tears in our eyes
Our future's before us
Our worries behind,
Just you and I

I'll turn off the lights and let you sleep,
Just close your eyes, relax and dream,

And keep your heart in mine
Even in the hardest times,
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up, because it's alright,
It's alright
When you're feeling lost
Don't give up because it's alright
When you close your eyes,
I'm by your side,
I'm by your side, mhm.

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further study :(

APRIL 19th, 2010
1000 hours

exactly 10am i am gonna write this blog. ahahhaha. its been a while already. well, now i'm quite busy and kinda lazy to write anything in my blog and so, i am writing it now.

this past few days were not that original. all i want to say is that, the past days were not the usual day that i've been gone through. this weird occasion started after i knew that i've been given the offer to study at Matriculation Labuan. since then, my mom never get mad at me and yeah, i noticed several changes also. before this, she always nag nag nag and nag at me almost every hour.

and frankly speaking,
i miss her nagging now
:'(
very much.

this Tuesday, daddy will be coming back here from Qatar. how i miss daddy too. surely i know, it will be different. surely daddy looks differ because maybe he'll be way thin than he was before. i can't wait for him to come back. just can't wait. daddy, i miss you already :')

back to the main topic, besides me going for Matriculation, there were also my other friends that join me too. okay, okay. i list 'em for you :)

• stemarlia ( me )
• neelwana
• shyarrine liah
• evelyn intik
• anisia
• azilla
• dygku nurul hafizah ( pjah )
• ummi h
  
• ummi k
• anthonia
• claire
  

those are whom had confirmed that they are going for Matriculation and yeahhh,
i know i won't be alone after all.
i have them :)

others, that are still not confirm yet are bryan rundi and geoffery.
i can't talk more because its your own choice too to decide.
i'm just going there and study and get good pointer.
yess!
i'm determined nowadays.
:')

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imissyouiloveyou.

APRIL 17th, 2010
2255 hours

i'm getting bored on updating this blog.
getting busy with the preparation.
urghhhhh.

i'm gonna miss you all peepsy.
my fellow kanjez friends
:')
i will always remember you all
and always gonna love you..

*i'm crying with joy.

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i cried AGAIN today

APRIL 16th, 2010
1227 hours

heyyya peepsy. today i woke up at around 10am after mr elekson sent text messages many times. erghhhhh. disturbing my sleep. besides that, also received texts from daphy and neel. i quickly got up and took the modem with me. after that, i went downstairs. i plugged in the wires. then, i switched on the pc. after all had be switched on, i quickly clicked the mozilla firefox and opened my facebook ( as usual ). ahahhaha. then, mommy called.

mommy :: you already checked your matriculation or not?
me :: wait mommy. i've just woke up at this very moment.
mommy :: iskhhhh. okay okay. you go checked at the backyard there. our gardening had all been collapsed because of the strong wind this morning and the heavy rain.
me :: ookkkaayyyy. later i checked it.
mommy :: after you checked your matriculation, you tell me A.S.A.P, okay?
me :: yaaaa. surely sure.

tuttt. tuttttt. she hanged up.

i quickly browse to the website.

*just click it to check yours too :)

i key-in my ic number and there, as i wait i kept saying

please be strong, be strong, be strong.

after that, the result pop out. yay! i got it! i got matrix at Labuan. uhuuu. the first intake though for this year. they gave me 1 year studying. that means only 2 semester. waaaa. i must study hard for that. really study hard. sobsob. i don't feel like typing anymore. i'm happy and sad at the same time. i just can't describe my feelings now. i cried when i got to know what will happen if i further study there.

i thought about lots of things.
about families that i will be far away with.
my friends.
my closest friends.
mr elekson.

uhuuuuuuuuuu. what to do. i will miss them all.
*sobsob

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QUESTIONS to be shared :)

what does it mean if you look into that someone straight to the eye,
but they just don't have the guts to look back?
they act nervous and don't even have any topic to be said.
what does that even mean?

mind sharing can you all my peeps?

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blank

APRIL 12th, 2010
1541 hours

i was eager to know about the ipta result and so i checked but nothing appeared. oh shit. why you ain't appeared arr? i've waited for so long for that. eeee. about the matriculation, it will come out this friday on April 16th. can't wait for it. wuuuuu. this morning, i woke early just because my cousin came from Sibu. cisss. disturbing my beauty sleep. i was sleeping at high dream dose and yeah, he disturbed me. gerrrrrr. but i don't mind. at least i had a partner to be with, to bring me go outing. yeahhhhhh.

i don't know what i'm actually writing about now at this very moment. erggghh. i wander what to do after my driving license later.

sigh.

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AKU BUKAN PILIHAN HATIMU

Jika memang diriku
Bukanlah menjadi
Pilihan hatimu
Mungkih sudah takdirnya
Kau dan aku
Takkan mesti bersatu

Haruslah slalu kau tahu
Ku mencintaimu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus slalu kau tahu
Semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena ku yakin
Cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu
Sampai akhir hidupku

Karena ku yakin
Di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu
Satu yang slalu ku rindu

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the D A Y

APRIL 11th, 2010
1951 hours

greetings all. this evening, i log in my facebook. a lot of notifications and even friend requests. and so i approve all the friend requests. after that, i view all the notifications. its a lot. lot to be scroll down a lots of time. i saw and checked it all. then, i came across the video that ayin tag me. i play that video. the song entitled "AKU BUKAN PILIHAN HATIMU" from Ungu. immediate after listening to that song, i quickly searched for it at Youtube. i wanna hear the original song from the band itself. i listened to it and without any hesitation..

my tears began to fall.
i was crying.
i shed away my tears.
but the tears kept on rolling down.
:'(
i was deeply sad.

frankly speaking, i miss him.

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what the fuck morning

APRIL 10th, 2010
1100 hours

morning fuck as it is.
stupid.
asshole you dweeb.
i hate you way more than what i am saying with words now.
as for your convenience, just as like you want it.

I WON'T LOOK FOR YOU ANYMORE.
YES, I WILL NOT SEARCH FOR YOU.
NEVER FOR NOW.
AFTER WHAT YOU HAD DONE TO ME.
YOU ASKED FOR IT AND SO I WILL GRANT IT.
IF YOU CAN LOOK FOR A NEW GIRL, SO DO I.
DON'T EVER SAID THAT I CHEATED.
BECAUSE I WILL DO WHAT I WANT AND I WILL DO IT.

FUCK YOU MAN! CHOIII!
TWO MIDDLE FINGER FOR YOU!
SMELL THE FUCKIN' ASS.
BOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO.
CRAPPING THE SHIT AS YOU ARE.

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O H F U C K ! !

i am so pissed off today. what the fucking damn fishes are you dealing with girl? you're messing again with the puddle of mud and the spitting of your saliva again? oh shit ya dang girl! you're a fuck machine! why on earth you wanna go flirting with him again? you're the one that spit your saliva before this, but now you want to lick it back?? damn you!

pa ko pk ko pat ludah & jilat blt ludah ko ya? oh shit motherfucker you! sedar diri sket tu. dahlah PANDAK! tak malu, ada hati g mao bantai muka ya?! bloodyfool! dh tau dia dh bpunya, knk mao mengenja g? xda mata ka tgga relationship status owg? kekmakkk! xda reti malu. g mao ka mengenja ngenjit diri ya?? ceypaiiii arrr.

aku dh fed up dh an suma benda tok. gila bagai mao hentakkan kepala rah dinding. laki ng ego. pmpuan ya degil li wak. dh tak tau g mao plh gney. cibai ko kimak! ada hari lak. errghhh.

kpd laki ego ya,
SUKAAA ATI LAH! KO MAO CARI GWEX BARU KA, MAO KAWEN KA, AKU TAK KESAH! KO NG EGO! DARI DULUKKK GIK KO NG EGO TAK ABIS ABIS. PELIRRR KO YA KECIK! EEEEEE. MUN KO PAT CARI GWEX BARU, AKU PUNG MAO JOIN SAMA WAK.
A-CIE WAK NAK?

AHAHHAHHAAA.

AKU PUNG TAK MAO RUGI OHHH KIMAK.

*KO NG CHIPAIII, malvina.

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mood swing

APRIL 8th, 2010
1052 hours

yesterday, i went for the driving lesson again. i'm driving at a good health. that means i'm okay on it. no nervous feeling like the first time i drove the car before. when i finished the 3 side parking, Miss Ling instructed me to park at the side. and so, i did. she came to my side and i opened the door.

Miss Ling :: so, you'll be taking your pra on april 17th, that is on saturday.

i was shocked shocked. apuuuu. the other day, she said i will have my pra on april 20th. now it is postponed to april 17th. warghhhhh. then my adrenaline just went up so high. i was nervous.

Miss Ling :: why do want to be nervous? don't worry. the people here are all sporting.

hell yeah, they "ARE" for you. not for me. oh damn. why am i nervous for this pra thingy. maybe because everybody said it was that hard and difficult to pass. but if i have that faith that i will pass, i will pass. i pray that i will manage to pass.

oh God, i pray.

i pray so that on that day, i manage to do it all. Amen.

i wanna drive the car now. i am eager of doing so. ahahahaha. i just need a license to approve that i am a DRIVER. ohohoo.
*wink :)

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